"Going to Amsterdam in the new year, top gear there"

The bus pulled up in Amsterdam at about noon on Sunday. Fresh from the good times in Belgium, I was ready to rock on in the party capital of Earth.

Unfortunately the Hostel I was staying at was once again based on the other side of town to the bus dropoff point. Fortunately, being on the other side of town in Amsterdam isnt a big deal. Everything is bikes, pedestrians and an orderly arrangement of canals and bridges (apparently it was Europes first "planned" city).

I got to my hostel in about half an hour, but not before a couple of homeless guys tried to rob me (I suspect). One caught me looking at a map, and offered to give directions. Keeping a hand on my wallet pocket, and making sure my bags were safely attached, I showed him the map and where I wanted to go.

He pointed out that I needed to be just across the street and up the road a bit more, and for the favour he asked for a couple of euro. Fair enough I thought, and grabbed my wallet. Once Id handed him the coin I saw out the corner I my eye his mate had pulled up out of nowhere on a bike and was eyeing my gear, maybe he expected me to drop my bags to get the cash out or something, but seeing they were staying on my back she gave me a smile and that was it.

Anyway I wandered about town in my usual style, and eventually ran into Katie and Tizz from Belgium. We all went together to meet one of Tizz's old uni mates then headed to a Coffee Shop. Tizz and her mate Allen got into some Space Cake, but being that I was alone in a strange town, and kinda tired from all the walking around, I didnt bother. Turns out 2 Space Cakes between them didnt have any effect anyway, so I saved myself a few bucks in the process.

From there we went to the Red Light District and gawped at the hooker booths along with everyone else. There were people of every age (even Mum, Dad and the kids) just staring at these half naked chicks standing in their little glass windows, and fair enough too, cos some of them were hot. The only weird part was when you share a joke about them with the stranger next to you, then he gets out his wallet and knocks on the glass.

A few novely condom shops later and we went to a bar. Just for a sit down relly, everyone was still feeling the effects of Bruges I think. I bade them goodbye at around midnight and headed back to the Hostel. My room was full of guys, half of whom snored, the other half reeked off weed. Oh I managed to have a shower without the aid of a towel in there somewhere too.

The next night was a bit of a Belgium repeat for me. I headed out early to meet my bike tour behind the Ricts Museum, but it turns out they dont run on mondays. After a hugely underwhelming (and expensive) visit to the Van Gogh museum and Madam Tssauds I was bored and alone, sitting in the foyer of the hostel surrounded by brochures telling me how fun Amsterdam is.

Michelle advised me to go to a tourist friendly bar and try to strike up conversation with some english speakers, and I figured if Id wasted 20 euros at a wax museum, I could at least invest some cash in my quest to become a beer drinker too.

I grabbed all the cash I had left on me (40 euros, down from 300 at the start of the trip) and headed to an "Aussie Pub". I could tell it was Australian by the way there was a giant plastic crocoile hanging from the ceiling. Just like the Normanby.

Ive never been one for striking up conversation, my strategy to meet people is to sit around looking as cool as possible and attracting friends with sheer animal magnetism. So I pulled up a chair and the bar and ordered a Heineken which, to my surprise, arrived in a stein and cost me 12 euros.

I started work (penance?) on my beer and eventually got chatting to a couple of rowdy Irish girls named Melissa and Nieve. A few drinks later they invited me along to a bar across the street where they knew the bartender. We relocated to a nice little pub with pumping music, disco lighting, and absolutely no patrons other than ourselves.

The bartender (who kinda looked like Vinne Jones, and was nicknamed accordingly) let us play with the jukebox, and gave the occasional free shot or heavily discounted Jaeger bomb. After a while the place started to fill up, but I was well on my way by this point, so I thanked the girls for saving my evening and lurched home through the freezing Holland wind.

Back at the Hostel I got into my PJ's, then managed to lock my wallet (containing my locker and door key) inside my locker at about 1am. Went down to the lobby to get the reception dude and was met with a crowed of American girls, one of whom asked me if I was aware I wasnt wearing pants.

The next day (today) I did the bike tour Id attempted earlier. It was 3 hours of riding through torrential rain and freezing winds, wearing special bike ponchos that were useless at doing anything other than making you look stupid in front of the locals.

So my time in Amsterdam has been good. I didnt do all the things I expected to do when I was over here, but the reality of travelling alone is a lot different to the non-stop party I had pictured.

I'll write again from Berlin.